Fighting with myself

It starts with the first step. Going to bed a little late last night didn't help with me wanting to exercise this morning. In fact, all I wanted to do is sleep in. My muscles were sore, my abs were sore, I was just exhausted. But I had to keep telling myself, I'm doing this to be healthier, to be at the point where I didn't feel sluggish anymore, and I'm almost normal, I need to do this for my mental state. Exercise is great to relieve stress and tension. You put all your efforts towards doing the motions and it actually clears your mind. At least for me it does. Now I feel like I can tackle anything today. Like the next day for Couch to 5K. Roland and I are going to take the kids out later today to do the next step. Rhannon so enjoys it, which makes me glad. I want him to be more active. My little boy is kinda pudgy!:D Nyko on the other hand, well he loves to eat. And his fingers are pudgy!:D But he's got strength. I swear when you play with him, he can actually pull his weight. Seriously my 4 year old is strong. As we were walking home, I was messing with him by bumping him to the side, and he literally bumped me into the road. He doesn't know his own strength.

So yes, I had to fight with myself this morning. I think everyone who starts an exercise regiment has to fight with themselves. Like last night, I told Roland I wanted a bag of Hot Fries. I've been indulging. Since we left Guam for Germany, I haven't had that in a long time. 5 years to be exact. We arrive in Colorado Springs and I find it at the Commissary here. Of course I'm going to indulge. Rhannon said to me "Mama, since we got here to Colorado you have been buying that." Yes, yes I have. But it is my favorite bag of chips since I was about 5 years old. I guess I can cut back a little. It's been difficult because I fight with Roland about it. And that was the main reason why I was buy 3 bags at a time. So I would have reserves if Roland chooses to eat 1 bag.

I had to fight with myself about the coffee. Oh, Starbucks is so tempting. I love their Caramel Frap, with whip cream, and venti of course. I don't change the type of milk, so it's whole milk. And yes, Roland says the size is bad:P Since we've been here I've indulged in Starbucks too. Now, I have to develop self control when it comes to my coffee. I can live with that. I think. I guess 2 times a month isn't so bad right? And I will be honest with you, it has to be the Starbucks at the Exchange, not outside on the economy. The people there at the Exchange are really friendly and make my coffee the way I like it.

Roland continues to tell me, it's all about moderation. You can eat what you want, but in moderation. Another thing I do fight with myself with is ice cream. Since we've been here, there has been a half gallon or more of ice cream in my freezer. I did have the best ice cream in the world. (Thank you Angelo and your ice cream truck that would stop after school; by the school, and in front of my house in the evenings!) I would always come home after he had passed by which made it easier for me to not have ice cream. But here, the kids want ice cream. I've never had this brand before, Blue Bell, and it is awesome! The kids like the plain ice cream vanilla and chocolate. So of course, you buy plain vanilla and chocolate. The rest of use don't mind the mixed flavors. So we have sometimes Rocky Road and Pistachio Almond in the freezer. So we have 1 gallon combined and several little cups of ice cream. And it has been like this since we arrived. I was informed by my Dad (for clarification, Dad is Roland's father, and when I mention Papa, that's my father) that they have always had ice cream in their freezer. Roland so blatantly denies and explained those belong to Dad. HAHAH! Just so we won't have to buy ice cream. Anyways, so I rant. Hmm..I digress too. Oh yeah, I found out they also sold in the Asian store already made mochi Pieces. Oh my GOODNESS! I love putting that in my ice cream. Since I've failed making mochi ice cream. I've watched a You Tube video on how to make it, and well, guess what, IT'S NOT EASY!!!!! My ice cream melts, the mochi sticks to the pan. I get so frustrated! But you know what, the kids didn't mind eating my failures. Anyways, instead of me trying to make the mochi ice cream, I'll just put the pieces into my ice cream. Works the same:D and SO YUMMY!
So yeah, I've indulged a great deal in eating ice cream. Now I've run out of mochi and pistachio ice cream. I'm actually not eating the ones in the freezer. I'm also very glad that Itopit, this frozen yogurt place is far away. Otherwise I'd be going there a lot. It's so yummy too!

So yes, this whole exercising thing has been a struggle for about a couple of years. In 2011 I did lose 10lbs, but I've not budge since then. I guess it's not that bad but it's not good either. But I have decided to not look at the weight but look at the inches I'm losing.

Yes, this is me fighting with myself. Not only with the exercise part, but also with the junk food. I don't eat junk food a lot, otherwise I would have gained all that weight back, but I didn't. Yet, I still love to eat it once in awhile. Which isn't too bad. I guess I need to stop making excuses and just keep pushing myself to get over myself and just do it!

That's my rant for now:D

Welcome to my world!

~Joy